News from the Bush

1.
A woman found out that her dog could hardly hear, so she took it to the
veterinarian. He found out that the problem was excess hair in the dog's ears so he trimmed the hair, cleaned out both of its ears and the dog could hear fine. The vet told the woman if she wanted to keep this from re-occurring, she should get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it into the dog's ears once a month.
The woman goes to the drug store and gets some "Nair" hair remover.
At the register the druggist tells her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."
The woman says, "I'm not using it under my arms."
The druggist says, "Oh. Well, if you're using it on your arms or legs, stay out of the sun for a couple of days."
The woman says "I'm not using it on my arms or legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my schnauzer."
The druggist says, "Then you should stay off your bicycle for a week."

<rimshot> shhh-boom </rimshot>


2.
In a preemptive move to counter the growing threat of Avian Influenza H5N1 (Bird Flu) to the United States, President Bush today announced that the U.S. Air Force will begin bombing Turkey and the Canary Islands.

(Yes, it's a joke but would it surprise you to read a blurb like that?)