Yes, she's strange and different...but not THAT different.

02 May 2006

REAL Friends

Are you tired of those smarmy "friendship" messages that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, I got the following today from my brother (who is also a good friend) and it seems to be a bit more realistic:

My friend
  • When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry asshole that upset you so badly.

  • When you are blue -- I will use my Heimlich skills to try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

  • When you are smiling -- I will know you finally got some.

  • When you are scared -- I will make fun about it every chance I get.

  • When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

  • When you are confused -- I will speak slowly and use little words.

  • When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want to catch whatever you have.

  • When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

  • When you are broke -- I will remind you of the convenience stores that do not have security cameras.

  • When you are old -- I will still be there for you, but I'll be a lot younger than you.
Remember: A good friend will help you move; a really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if you ever need me to bring a shovel.

  • On 5/03/2006 12:16 PM, Blogger She says said…


  • On 5/04/2006 1:31 AM, Blogger Jen said…

    Yeah, I'm down with this kind of friend. I do point and laugh at clumsy friends; then again, I point and laugh at clumsy me.

  • On 5/04/2006 11:52 AM, Blogger Jami said…

    When folks are clumsy themselves, they are allowed to point and laugh at others who are, also, especially their friends. Graceful people will get bitch-slapped for doing so, however.


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