Yes, she's strange and different...but not THAT different.

02 August 2007

Dead horses

(No, this is not original but it is worth repeating.)

The tribal wisdom of many native Americans, passed on from generation to
generation, says that, "When you discover that you are riding a dead horse,
the best strategy is to dismount."

However, within the Federal government, more advanced strategies are often employed in such situations, such as:

1. Buying a longer and/or stronger whip.

2. Changing riders in the hopes of improving horse performance.

3. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.

4. Appointing a committee to study the dead horse.

5. Visiting other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.

6. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be counted with live ones.

7. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.

8. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.

9. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.

10. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase dead horse's performance.

11. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.

12. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead, and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do other live horses.

  • On 8/02/2007 1:06 PM, Blogger Nancy said…

    and my favorite....

    "They shoot horses, don't they?"

     
  • On 8/02/2007 3:17 PM, Blogger Jenn in Holland said…

    What we should probably do is form a committee to explore the idea that we may need a committee to consider some of these options...

     
  • On 8/03/2007 10:24 AM, Blogger Fourier Analyst said…

    At least they aren't trying to invade the dead horse to get it to get up and start walking again. Oh wait, maybe that's the "secret strategy"!

    You're Jenn's sis right? Nice to meecha'!

    Love the haikus, but am still planning on throttling your sister for getting me started...

     
  • On 8/03/2007 11:21 AM, Blogger Cooth said…

    I work in state government - this stuff happens on all levels!!

    Very funny post! I found you via Diesel's site.

    I'm gonna go read more now....

     

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