Yes, she's strange and different...but not THAT different.

24 September 2007

Who am I?

“Who am I?” All human beings ask this question, both of themselves and of the world at large, and I would imagine that transgendered human beings ask this question a lot more often than others do. However, I’ve always thought that answering this question is basically futile. If everyone knew for certain just exactly who they were, what could they do about it? What difference would it make? They would still be exactly the same as before they knew what term to apply to themselves. Applying a label to something only covers up the thing itself, and the more labels that get applied, the more the actual contents are obscured. Instead, it’s my submission that the real question should be, “How can I learn to accept myself, and by extension of that, everyone else?”

Unfortunately, I don’t think that there is any single answer to that question. We might all be lost in the same woods, but we all have to find our own way out because we’re all going to different places. I know it took me a relatively long time to get past my guilt about being different and gain the self-confidence to accept myself in the face of what I had learned to be “wrong”. I realized that while I might be a little kinky, I’m not perverted. (Side question: What’s the difference? See below.) I realized that regardless of what I thought others might think about me, I was in actuality a pretty nice person. And I realized that while my gender or my age or my sexuality or anything else are all fairly important aspects of who I was, they are individually simply another facet of the jewel of my life.

Existence is not binary. The world in which we exist is not composed of black and white, clear-cut divisions, and I think we all realize this fact. Yet, we insist on applying that sort of segregation to all sorts of things in our lives: If you’re not gender dysphoric, you must be gender euphoric. If you’re not happy, you must be sad. If you’re not all man, you must be all woman. If you don’t have an answer, you must be confused. We need to accept that the fact that our world is infinitely colored, and that each of us may perceive those colors as different shades. Embrace our variety, revel in your own uniqueness and realize that not all questions have answers.

(OK- the comedic answer is: Kinky is using a feather during foreplay, but perverted is using the whole chicken.)

  • On 9/24/2007 2:49 PM, Blogger Jen said…

    This is a lovely post, Jami.

  • On 9/24/2007 2:59 PM, Blogger cathouse teri said…

    I like. :)

  • On 9/24/2007 3:21 PM, Blogger Diesel said…

    "The world in which we exist is not composed of black and white, clear-cut divisions."

    Hey, that sounds like a black and white, clear-cut division! ;)

  • On 9/24/2007 4:16 PM, Anonymous Leslie said…

    I think you're right on with this post, Jami. Very well written.

  • On 9/24/2007 10:28 PM, Blogger soccer mom in denial said…

    Brava, mia amica! Brava.

    And you know better then most why I think so! :)

  • On 9/25/2007 3:02 PM, Anonymous tonya said…

    as usual you are the queen of making everything make sense. i wish i had a switch that could make me stay in the moment because it is usually my thoughts on the past or future that get me off track.

  • On 9/28/2007 2:41 AM, Blogger Spicy said…

    This is probably my all-time favourite post of yours, Jami. I absolutely loved reading it. Thanks for sharing these thoughts.

    I often wonder who I am, and why I am. There's never an answer but it doesn't stop me asking. x

  • On 9/30/2007 10:11 PM, Blogger CableGirl said…

    What a fantastic post. I think people tend to forget that the world is not black and white, divided into good and evil, happy and sad. You have expressed that idea in a wonderful way. Thank you.


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