Brain flotsam
When I'm at work I don't take my cell phone to the restroom; I leave it in my desk. Not just because I think it's rude (and maybe a little pervy) to be a captive audience to one side of a conversation taking place in the next stall, but also because I'm afraid that I will somehow drop the damn thing in the toilet, probably just before I flush (if you know what I mean). Saying bye-bye TO my phone is not on my schedule.
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Speaking of the restroom at work (see above in case you've forgotten), I will say that I work at a classy place. Every restroom in the building - a total of 18 restrooms - has a vase of real flowers on the real marble sink counter (see below). The flowers are changed every Wednesday, and I happened to ask the flower lady this week if she'd ever had any of the vases of flowers stolen. (I was curious, OK?) She said that in the four years she's been doing the job, the vases have always been there. That's REAL class: when your restroom vases don't get stolen. Or maybe it's just very unattractive vases.
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Is it just me or does the crotch on everyone's underwear seem to wear out first? Why is that, I wonder? Is down-deep crotch sweat toxic? Or more frighteningly, is there some bodily fluid exudate unique to that portion of the anatomy that is corrosive? Are there little tiny things that live down there, like eyelash mites that have some affinity for stretchy fabric? Just wondering.
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Speaking of the restroom at work (see above in case you've forgotten), I will say that I work at a classy place. Every restroom in the building - a total of 18 restrooms - has a vase of real flowers on the real marble sink counter (see below). The flowers are changed every Wednesday, and I happened to ask the flower lady this week if she'd ever had any of the vases of flowers stolen. (I was curious, OK?) She said that in the four years she's been doing the job, the vases have always been there. That's REAL class: when your restroom vases don't get stolen. Or maybe it's just very unattractive vases.
--------------Is it just me or does the crotch on everyone's underwear seem to wear out first? Why is that, I wonder? Is down-deep crotch sweat toxic? Or more frighteningly, is there some bodily fluid exudate unique to that portion of the anatomy that is corrosive? Are there little tiny things that live down there, like eyelash mites that have some affinity for stretchy fabric? Just wondering.
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On 10/19/2007 12:47 PM,
Nancy said…
I don't take my phone to pee either =)
I have to share my bathroom at work with two guys ... no further comment.
Panties? Um, nooooo, I haven't noticed mine wearing out unevenly.
On 10/19/2007 4:55 PM,
soccer mom in denial said…
No phone in the loo either for me.
Our office bathroom has various toiletries that is always stocked. Very nice.
I find I get holes where my thumbs pull up the underwear - and I don't have long and/or fake nails. Perhaps that is Vicky's Secret - her panties are cheap.
On 10/19/2007 5:00 PM,
Fourier Analyst said…
Oh darlin' time for a simple chem lesson. Corrosive bodily fluid? How about urine?! Contains: urea ( a concentrated form of ammonia as in the all-powerful cleaning fluid), uric acid (mild but still corrosive), dissolved phosphates and sulfates (you know, like what is found in high-power detergents9, and organic compounds (like what is found in enzymes that dissolve all sorts of organic compounds including the foods that you eat). And you wonder what might be so corrosive? What were you doing in your high-school biology classes? On second hand, I'm not sure I want to know!!
On 10/19/2007 5:01 PM,
Jen said…
I can't read your bathroom posts without wondering how the flowers stood against the woman with the huge perfume and the IBS...
On 10/19/2007 8:14 PM,
cathouse teri said…
By the way, those are Alstroemerias. Whose last name is that, I ask? :)
On 10/19/2007 8:16 PM,
cathouse teri said…
By the way, my phone is in my bra. Not normally in danger of falling into the toilet. Unless I have a sudden urge to stand up, bend over, and look deeply into the water. Then it could fall out.
'Tis true, though... many a friend of mine has lost their phone to the toilet water. And I don't mean perfume!
On 10/19/2007 9:36 PM,
Anonymous said…
I've dropped 2 phones in the loo. One I saved because I removed the battery immediately and then my girlfriend's huz knew to set up the innards with a blow dryer on it for a few hours! On low. I did all that within a half hour of dropping it in the loo.
The second one I wasn't so lucky. I removed the battery but was out to dinner and couldn't get to a blowdryer for 2 hours. So I took it back where I bought it and told them the phone book just died on me. And you know what they said, "Yeah, we've had a lot of trouble with that feature on that phone!"
Maybe everyone's just lying like me!
On 10/20/2007 12:12 AM,
Jami said…
"Alstroemerias. Whose last name is that"
Ummm...Mr. ALSTROEMERIA?
On 10/20/2007 3:37 AM,
cathouse teri said…
Ha ha. :)
On 10/22/2007 8:44 AM,
Weekends Off said…
Wow those flowers and vases wouldn't stand a chance around here. Even the toilet paper gets stolen.
I seem to wear out the elastic before anything else, probably because I buy the cheap panties, you know, out of the big .99 bin at Big Lots LOL. Well, I should say those are just my work panties anyway, the fun/good stuff comes from VS or Playboy.
On 10/22/2007 2:38 PM,
Jami said…
@FA - forget high-school bio. Where was I during some of those pre-med classes I took? No, really - where the hell was I?
@Jen - I didn't stick around long enough to find out.
@WO - I get my everydays at Walmart.
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