National Coming Out Day

I know that for a lot of people, National Coming Out Day is simply another day but for some people, it's a really big deal. Honor that - for the sake of those people who are taking that step.

Because it is National Coming Out Day, I wanted to relate the story of my coming out to my mother. My mother was terrific for a huge number of reasons, not the least of which was that she gave me my phenomenal sense of humor and my stunning good looks. However, about a dozen years ago, despite living less than half an hour's drive apart, she and I had been estranged for a number of years for reasons that were not of any importance here. Suffice it to say that they had nothing to do with my being transgendered. However, circumstances changed and one of my best friends told me shortly after her father died, "One of you needs to be the adult in this situation. Believe me, if your mother dies tomorrow, you will very much regret the time you missed." So, I opted to be the adult and contacted my mother, and we agreed to meet for lunch. In the process of re-establishing my relationship with her during that lunch, I told her that I was going to do it only if it could be an adult relationship and an honest relationship. She said that she wouldn't want it any other way. So, I took a deep breath and did one of the hardest things I've ever done: I told her that I was a transsexual, that I was on the path to becoming a woman. She looked up from her lunch and said, "I've known since you were ten or eleven. I had always hoped you'd find out for yourself and see fit to tell me. I'm really glad you did because it tells me you're OK with who you are. If you're happy, I'm happy. Are you going to have dessert?"

When she was close to death years later and we were at the hospice for our daily visit with her, she and I were just talking when she said, "I want you to get first crack at my closet. I know all the other girls will be going through my stuff, but you're the oldest so you should get to go first." I did and I still have - and sometimes wear - a pair of pink jeans that she bought. See - if I hadn't come out to her, I would have had to buy my own pink jeans.