Wash your hands

One afternoon, almost-15-year-old Pink Guy was sitting at the kitchen table with his laptop, chatting on Facebook and eating slices of ham without any utensils when he dropped part of a slice on the keyboard.

"Dammit," he exclaimed. "I dropped my meat!"

"You know you wouldn't get in trouble like that if you weren't fingering your meat at the table", one of his parents said.

"Oh, it's OK. I always wash my hands before I finger my meat," he replied.

"Well, if your meat was smaller, you could probably hold on to it better", the parent said.

"Shut up", he said.

---- a day passes -----

Pink Guy is sitting on the couch holding a plate with several pieces of ham.

"Are you fingering your meat any better tonight?"

"Shut up."

"Maybe it's harder to handle since it's cold from being in the fridge."

"Shut up, or I'm going to start fingering my meat the next time we're in a restaurant."

"Well as long as you wash your hands, and you're not fingering anything belonging to anyone else ..."

"Shut up."

I'm now thinking that "fingering your meat" just might get a lot more mileage at our house. Yes, I know how that sounds. Shut up.